Journal Entry

Today after work, I had proper food waiting for me — the meal I prepared the day before. But instead of choosing what I knew was good for me, I gave in to the take-out junk food. It was the easier, more comforting choice in the moment.

After that, I spent some time in prayer and then watched a little TV. Later, I read Mark 14:53–65.

While reading this passage, something struck my heart deeply.
Before Jesus was taken to the cross, He brought Peter and the two other disciples with Him to pray. But they couldn’t stay awake. They sought comfort in sleep because they were tired. Their desire for comfort overwhelmed their calling to stay alert with Jesus.

Then in verse 54, it says:

“And Peter followed Him at a distance, right into the courtyard of the high priest; and he was sitting with the guards and warming himself by the fire.”

Peter followed Jesus — but only up to the point where comfort appeared. The moment he saw the warm fire, he sat down with the guards. That image pierced me.

Because I recognize that same tendency in myself.

Comfort pulls at me more than I like to admit.
I walk with Jesus… but when something easier, warmer, more instantly comforting appears, my heart leans toward it. Just like today — choosing junk food over what I had prepared. Small decisions, but they echo a deeper pattern.

This part of the passage made me realize how carefully I need to guard my heart. Comfort itself isn’t wrong, but choosing comfort at the expense of obedience, discipline, or closeness with Jesus — that’s where I have to be watchful.

I want to learn to stop following Him at a distance.
I want to choose what nourishes me — spiritually, physically, emotionally — even when the comforting alternative is right there.

This is where I need His strength, not my own.