Most of my life, I managed to face challenges without letting them show on my face.
I remember that as a little child, I used to cry over every little thing. But after I got married and went through many heartbreaking situations, I learned to cope with everything without showing it on the outside,
: especially to my family. I didn't want my parents or my siblings to see that I wasn't happy.
When my children came into my life, I did the same. I carried most of my heartaches on my own.
Then I came to know Jesus. That's when I learned to pour out my heart's cry to Him. When I worship Him, I weep and cry because He is the only One who truly sees my heart's cry.
This coping mechanism eventually made me feel numb inside. I stopped crying, even in the face of tragedy. People used to wonder why I didn't cry over things that would normally bring others to tears. It was because I had become numb.
But lately, I find it hard to say anything without crying. I still try to appear okay in front of my children and grandchildren, but the truth is, I am not okay.
At work, I have found myself crying in front of people recently, and I hate when that happens.
This Scripture came to my mind:
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or
When I read this Scripture, I think about how crying, sorrow, and pain will all come to an end: but only when we see Jesus face to face.
Sometimes I wish He would give me a little bit of that comfort now. But I hesitate to ask if that promise is meant only for the end of our journey here on earth.
Then this old hymn comes to my mind:
Reach out and touch the Lord as He passes by;
You'll find He's not too busy to hear your heart's cry.
He is passing by this moment, your needs to supply;
Reach out and touch the Lord as He goes by.
As I reflect on those words, I am reminded that even while I wait for the day when every tear will be wiped away, He is still near. He sees my heart's cry, and He is not too busy to hear me.